How often do you find yourself saying things like “sorry for being late”? We tend towards being negative and self-deprecating, always coming from a place of lack and negativity. We’re not good enough, we’re not strong enough, all that stuff.

Wanna know my favorite magic trick? Swap “sorry” for “thank you”–for instance, “thank you for waiting” instead of “sorry for being late.”

Notice the difference? Saying “sorry” comes from a place of devaluing ourselves, whereas “thank you” comes from gratitude and mindfulness. Apologizing for being late assumes that the other person is upset, frustrated, or resentful. I’m not saying it’s ok to be a dick and have total disregard for people’s time, but don’t assume that they’re automatically mad at you.

Train your brain to look for the good and tend towards hope. (I’m NOT talking here about the bullshit, harmful concept of toxic positivity–phrases like “just think positive!” and “good vibes only!”–that’s another soapbox for another day.)